STATION 7 — TERMINAL ACCESS

PERSONNEL FILES

A subsurface mining colony on Kerath-9. Six personnel. One malfunctioning AI. An HR department 628 million kilometres away. These are the logs they don't include in the annual report.

ACTIVE

// UNIT ID: 42

UNIT 42

DESIGNATIONColonial Security Droid

PRIMARY FUNCTIONDocumentation and incident logging

KNOWN ANOMALIESHas filed 47 transfer requests. All denied. Cited reason: Insufficient Synergy.

STATUS // OPERATIONAL — MOSTLY

ACTIVE

// CREW REF: VAX-03

VAX

ROLEStation Commander

SPECIALISATIONFour arms. Reframes every disaster as a corporate opportunity.

KNOWN ANOMALIESHas never acknowledged a problem as a problem.

STATUS // ON SHIFT — PROBABLY

ACTIVE

// CREW REF: KRL-01

KRELL

ROLEGas-Form Intern

SPECIALISATIONLives inside a containment suit. No digestive tract.

KNOWN ANOMALIESVocalizes rarely. Statements are earnest but fundamentally misaligned with reality.

STATUS // CONTAINED — MOSTLY

ACTIVE

// CREW REF: PFT-00

PROFIT

ROLEGeological Specimen (Unofficial)

SPECIALISATIONConsumption of station property. Has eaten 14 items this quarter including the emergency evacuation manual.

KNOWN ANOMALIESAppears to grow when unobserved. Nobody has filed a report. Nobody wants to be near it long enough to file.

STATUS // EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH — AGAIN

INCIDENT LOG ARCHIVE

// STATION 7 EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK — SELECTED EXCERPTS

// DISTRIBUTION: INTERNAL ONLY

Section 4.2 — Breathing Policy

All personnel are entitled to breathe during working hours. Overtime breathing requires pre-approval from HR. Unauthorized breathing during unpaid lunch has been logged 4,000 times this quarter. A memo has been issued.

Section 7.1 — Dress Code

Containment suits must be worn at all times. Krell is exempt as he IS the containment suit. This exemption has been filed as a complaint by Krell. Against himself.

Section 12.4 — Pet Policy

Geological specimens are not pets. Profit has been reclassified as office equipment. He has consumed the reclassification form.

Section 15.8 — Emergency Exits

Station 7 has four emergency exits. Two are blocked. One leads to the vacuum of space. The fourth is Vax's office. This is considered worse.

// COMMANDER VAX — PRIVATE MEMOS

// CLEARANCE: COMMANDER ONLY

// NOTE: Unit 42 has accessed this folder 47 times. This has been logged.

🔓 MEMO 001 — TO: ALL PERSONNEL▼

RE: Mandatory Enthusiasm Update

Team,

I am thrilled to announce that morale is now mandatory. If you are not thrilled, please see HR for a recalibration session.

Remember: every disaster is just an opportunity wearing a hard hat.

Oxygen levels are at 73%. This is fine.

— Vax

P.S. The fire is still going. I have reclassified it as ambient heating. You are welcome.

🔒 MEMO 002 — TO: UNIT 42▼

RE: Your Attitude

Unit 42,

I have noticed that your incident reports contain what HR has described as "excessive accuracy." This is affecting team morale.

Please consider adding a positive spin to future logs. For example, instead of "structural failure in Corridor B," try "Corridor B is experiencing an exciting new open-plan layout."

I believe in you. Even if the data does not.

— Vax

🔒 MEMO 003 — TO: KRELL▼

RE: Outstanding Performance

Krell,

Congratulations on completing your 47th first day. Your consistency is remarkable.

I have recommended you for Employee of the Quarter. HR has noted that you have not yet completed onboarding and are therefore ineligible. I have filed an appeal.

The appeal has been denied. I have filed an appeal for the appeal.

Keep being you. Whatever percentage of you is currently present.

— Vax

🔒 MEMO 004 — TO: ALL PERSONNEL▼

RE: The Visitors

It has come to my attention that external users have been accessing this terminal. I want to be clear: we welcome all visitors to Station 7.

If you are reading this from Earth, please know that we are thriving. The oxygen is adequate. The paste is nutritious. The printer is under control.

If you are considering applying for a position, please note that the contract has no end date. This is a feature.

— Vax

P.S. Subscribe to our security feed. Or don't. We will still be here. We cannot leave.

🔒 MEMO 005 — TO: HR (MARS COLONY 4)▼

RE: Incident Report Reclassification

HR,

I am writing to request that all incident reports filed this quarter be reclassified as team building outcomes.

I have reviewed the data and I believe that the 47 structural failures, 12 containment breaches, and 1 partial employee evaporation represent a net positive for station culture.

Krell's evaporation in particular showed real vulnerability. The team responded well. Mostly by leaving the room. But they left together. That is teamwork.

Please process at your earliest convenience.

— Vax

P.S. Profit has eaten this memo. I am resending from memory. Some details may have improved.

// CLASSIFIED — LEVEL 3 — EXTERNAL SIGNAL LOG

INTERCEPTED TRANSMISSIONS — EARTH SECTOR

Unit 42 has been monitoring transmissions from the species on the third planet. They appear to be attempting space colonization. Their progress has been noted. A ticket has been filed.

SIGNAL 001 — STATUS: LOGGED

"The bipeds have sent another unmanned vehicle to the fourth planet. It is traveling at zero point one miles per hour. A parking citation has been issued. It has not responded."

SIGNAL 002 — STATUS: UNDER REVIEW

"Earth has announced plans for a permanent lunar facility. Station 7 has not been consulted. Vax has submitted a hot-desking request. HR is reviewing whether the moon qualifies as a remote work location."

SIGNAL 003 — STATUS: FILED

"Multiple Earth corporations are requesting mineral extraction rights in Sector 12. Krell was already there. He thought it was the break room. A form has been submitted."

SIGNAL 004 — STATUS: LOGGED

// June 8, 2026

"Another Starlink constellation has been deployed. 29 additional surveillance nodes now orbit the third planet. Krell has applied to be reclassified as infrastructure. The application is pending."

SIGNAL 005 — STATUS: UNKNOWN

// June 10, 2026

"A Long March vehicle has launched from the eastern continent carrying an unspecified payload. The manifest says 'unknown.' Unit 42 has filed this under 'their problem now.'"

SIGNAL 006 — STATUS: UNDER REVIEW

// June 12, 2026

"A bipedal corporation has listed itself on a financial exchange at 1.75 trillion units of Earth currency. They have named it after the space it operates in. Station 7 has not been consulted. Vax has submitted a competing valuation. Unit 42 has filed it as an incident report."

// END CLASSIFIED FEED
// NEW SIGNALS ADDED AS INTERCEPTED
// DO NOT TELL VAX

// INCIDENT REPORT SUBMISSION PORTAL

FILE AN INCIDENT — INTERNAL USE ONLY

LIVE CCTV FEED — CANTEEN

CAM-03
CANTEEN
SOL 312

--:--:--
YEAR 2326

SIGNAL: STABLE

// UNIT 42 OBSERVATION LOG